Laven Week
by CherrySpringer
Summary: I think the title serves its purpose this time. Summary for each fic will be in the beginning. Happy Laven Week! Ratings change for each day.
1. The Clown's Frown

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Rating: K+

**Warning**: **Spoilers**. Set after the Third Exorcists arrive, since the series is on hold anyways…

Summary: Lavi and Allen were just friends. They were closer than anyone else in the Order, which was plain by the way they interacted, but how can that friendship possibly lead to something more? No one ever expected it to, no one even thought about it, but everything changed on the night of the festival…

Day One: Culture

* * *

_The Clown's Frown_

The townsfolk suspected nothing, everyone was happy, there were no Akuma anywhere, yet Allen couldn't seem to calm down. Something was off, something that he couldn't put his finger on. Lavi seemed to think everything was fine, that nothing bad would happen, but Allen just couldn't agree with him, no matter how hard he tried to settle the funny feeling in his stomach.

"Come on, Allen! Relax! There's going to be a huge festival tonight; it's the one night where there would be the least chance of an Akuma attack." Lavi said lightly, his relaxed demeanor beginning to both irritate and rub off on Allen. He wasn't sure if it was just him or if it was actually happening, but during the past two months, which had been spent solely with Lavi on this mission, he had been becoming more relaxed and less worried about things.

But tonight he just couldn't settle the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Maybe you should just try and be a bit more on guard. The way you've been acting lately has been getting us into trouble with Akuma. You're not being careful enough." Allen snapped, attempting to wipe the confident smirk on the redhead's face.

"Who, me? Cause trouble?" Lavi asked, pointing to himself with mock surprise. "Never!"

"You make it sound like you do it on purpose…" Allen muttered, sighing and rubbing his face.

Lavi frowned, not sure he had been expecting that reaction. Usually, Allen would suddenly get insanely defensive and snap at him, which would then result in some sort of one-sided argument in which Allen yelled his head off and Lavi would make fun of him, but Allen seemed different today. Maybe there really was something to be worried about.

"You know, if you want to talk about anything…in particular, I'm willing to listen." Lavi said, reaching out to Allen. His fingers nearly touched the boy's shoulder before Lavi retreated, unsure if it would be appropriate to touch him. Lavi wasn't very respectful to people's personal space, which was easily proven by the many things he did to Yuu and everyone else in the order, but when Allen was in a mood like this Lavi was always cautious.

He didn't like to admit the reason for this, though he knew Allen already understood. No one else but Lavi knew his secret, and with a normal person this would most likely be a huge responsibility, but Lavi was used to knowing things others didn't. It was easier for him to stay quiet, to not do anything about it or pretend nothing had happened, or that something never existed even though he knew it did.

He knew this was the reason he had been chosen to go on this mission with Allen.

Komui had told him before they left to keep a close watch on Allen. He hadn't needed to explain any further than that, and Lavi had already been suspicious beforehand. Lavi was the only one who knew Allen's secret, and therefore he was the only one who would be able to watch Allen in the _right_ way. Also, he may very well be the only one they could've trusted with this secret besides the old geezer.

"Thank you, Lavi, but I should be fine." Allen whispered, dropping his hand and looking Lavi straight in the eye. "I think the thing that would help most right now isn't you listening, but being a little more on guard. You've been lacking lately."

Lavi winced, not liking the blunt way he had stated this. "It's not my fault."

"You don't need to watch every single move I make!" Allen snapped, sitting up fully. His face suddenly filled with its old fire, though there was something new added to it—fear?

Lavi was surprised Allen had noticed, but how couldn't he have? Allen had noticed the secretive glances, the way Lavi's weapon would pause every time Allen would strike at an enemy, the way he would stare at Allen's face for minutes on end before paying attention to the things going on around him again. He had also noticed the way Lavi had been hesitating lately, and the way he had been trying too hard to be cheerful.

He had seen Lavi reaching out to him just then before retreating. He wasn't an idiot. He could see why Lavi was being like this.

"I'm not a child, and I don't need you watching me like a hawk." Allen continued. "It's not like the change is going to happen without you noticing from looking away for two seconds. Once the change is there it wont disappear, and it'll be a lot more dramatic than sitting here at a coffee shop waiting for an enemy to show up!"

"Allen…" Lavi tried to interrupt, but Allen shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about something that you obviously don't want to hear. You probably just want to forget it, just like I do…" Allen whispered, his head falling into the palm of his hand. A tear dropped onto the surface of the table, a tiny little pebble that stayed in a perfect circle before slowly spreading apart.

"Maybe we should go back to the hotel…" Lavi suggested cautiously. He wasn't really sure what to do when it came to Allen. His reactions, his thoughts, the way he moved, everything was unpredictable to him, yet somehow there was still understanding there.

Although it wasn't really the same thing, Lavi understood how Allen felt. Changing identities every time he was told to, leading a life of secrecy and deceit, always learning and never feeling or experiencing. Everything to do with his life was memorizing and observing, never to be the one who led a real life.

Allen dealt with something similar. His own identity was changing against his will, he was no longer leading his own life but observing it, being controlled by the Order and forced to watch himself slowly get torn apart and watch as the people he loved no longer became his. Lavi felt Allen had it much worse than him, and it was only going to get worse the more time passed.

"I'm going to go have another look around the town. There might be something we may have missed, or an Akuma that we didn't notice earlier." Allen whispered, standing up without looking at Lavi. Lavi wanted to point out that his eye would have sensed it whether he had been looking at it or not, but he knew the real reason Allen wished to patrol.

As Allen walked away, Lavi began to wonder what had happened between them that had made this happen. He had felt that Allen was his closest friend in the order, closer than even Yuu, but one little argument had caused such terrible feelings to erupt in his chest, churning inside of him and making him feel like dirt.

More than anything, Lavi wanted to get back the happy feeling he always had with Allen.

Fourteenth or not, Allen was Allen, even if it would only be for a little longer. Lavi needed to enjoy the time he had left with the boy, and when he wasn't with him…

Lavi hadn't mentioned it to anyone. He hadn't told Bookman, he hadn't confided in Lenalee or asked permission from Komui, but every night he had been researching, sneaking out, experimenting in any way he could, searching for an answer. He had been trying to find a way to stop the transformation, and had even decided to resort to something much worse than a mistake in research or defying Bookman if the chance became available.

Slowly, Lavi's life was beginning to revolve around Allen, and Allen's future.

He hadn't been sure when exactly this had happened, or why Lavi felt so strongly to keep Allen here, as himself, but he refused to question it. He was afraid of the answer he would come up with.

* * *

"_Mana…has some sort of connection to the 14__th__, doesn't he?"_

"_Yes. The fourteenth had an older brother. There was only one person who was with the fourteenth up until the moment he betrayed the Millennium Earl and was killed, and that was Mana Walker."_

Allen bit his lip, keeping his face hidden from the people who spread apart to let him pass. A few of them muttered under their breaths, pointing and asking each other questions none of them could answer.

Just like the questions Allen had that could never be answered.

"_You had the fourteenth's ' memories' implanted in you. You're the host necessary for his revival."_

Those words wouldn't stop echoing through his head. Lavi's face as he heard this hadn't helped, either. Allen had seen his face. Allen had been watching him. His eyes had strayed to him often during that session.

"_No matter what, I'll still be your friend, silly!" Lavi chimed, his smile stretching across his face. "This doesn't change a thing. Right now you're still Allen, aren't you? We don't have to worry about that until it actually happens."_

Lavi had said that right before the mission, when he had found Allen in the ark to tell him it was time to go. He had found him in the secret room, sitting there with Timcanpy like usual, staring off into space. Somehow, he had understood exactly what Allen was thinking about; or maybe he had just been thinking about the same thing.

Allen wasn't sure he could believe him. He wasn't sure he could believe anyone who had witnessed that to actually want to be friends with him anymore. His friendships with the people in the order had felt awkward and constantly on edge before, mostly on Allen's part, so what would it be like for something like this to be known?

Yet, a part of Allen wanted to believe in Lavi. The redhead was Allen's closest friend, both in and out of the order, and Allen wanted more than anything to believe him, to confide in him. He held himself back though, too afraid to get hurt.

"Sir, would you like a rose?" Allen jumped, his attention once again coming to the present. A young woman, possibly the same age as him, was standing there, smiling sweetly. Her words seemed to strike something much deeper in Allen, despite the fact that she had only asked if he wanted a rose. Her blue eyes bore into his gray eyes, and her long brown hair was tied behind a bandana.

"I-I'm sorry, what?" Allen asked, a little embarrassed. She held a red rose before her, thorns and all.

"A rose. For you, it can be free of charge. You look like you could use one." The girl said, still smiling sweetly.

"Oh…uh…sure…" Allen said, unsure of what to say. She wasn't an Akuma, so there was no harm in accepting something from her. Yet, he was still curious as to how she was so easily able to approach him. Didn't his outfit strike her as odd? If not his outfit, then definitely his appearance? Yet she stood there, smiling at him.

"Here you go." She said kindly, handing him the rose she held. The red petals were smooth as Allen lightly ran a finger over the flower. Its sweet aroma drifted to his nose, making him feel a little better.

"Thank you." Allen said as earnestly as he could.

"Of course. Remember, when life gives you something, you shouldn't reject it. You should embrace it." The girl leaned closer to him, her smile only growing kinder, almost sad. "You shouldn't deny love."

"Love?" Allen asked, startled. The girl nodded, leaning back again.

"The expression on your face is of forlorn love." She explained, her voice soft.

_Love? Why love? I love the people of the order, but the way she's talking, it seems like she's not talking about that kind of love…_

"That rose," the girl said, interrupting Allen's thoughts. "You should give it to that person."

"That…person…?" He asked, turning. At that moment, a picture of Lavi walking towards them entered his head. However, no one was there.

"The person you love." The girl explained. Allen turned back to her. "Maybe something will become clear."

"What do you mean?" Allen asked, confused. The girl just smiled again, and backed away. Allen blinked, and when his eyes opened again, she was gone.

Immediately, he was on guard, but there was no trace of the girl except for the rose in his hand. It was clear he hadn't of been imagining things, but the way she had suddenly vanished, he couldn't help but wonder. At the same time, if she had vanished like that, could it be possible she was actually an enemy? Was there something to fear from the rose?

Allen looked at the rose, frowning. With a small, decisive sigh, he dropped his arm and turned around, back to where the hotel was. Back to where Lavi was.

* * *

"You're back quick." Lavi commented when Allen walked through the door. He was laying on his bed, a book laying open beside him, long forgotten. Lavi had taken to staring at the ceiling instead.

"I decided not to go too far, since preparations for the festival are almost over." Allen replied, sitting on his own bed. He leaned over and took his boots off, leaving the rose beside him. Lavi's eye strayed to the blood red flower.

"Where's that from?" He asked. "Did a girl confess her love to you and then offer a beautiful rose, saying that it was nothing in comparison to your face?" He teased, and Allen froze. Despite the fact that this was not what had actually happened, his face began to turn red. "You mean it actually happened?" Lavi asked, sitting up, his mind automatically taking Allen's reaction as a yes.

"No!" Allen snapped, tugging off one of his shoes with a little more force than necessary. "A girl was selling them and she gave me one for free because…" Allen stopped, his face beginning to turn more red. He wasn't sure he wanted to confess to Lavi what exactly had transpired.

"So she thought you were beautiful, but she didn't confess her love?" Lavi asked, continuing on with the absurd story he had made up.

"No!" Allen repeated. "She…saw that I wasn't happy." He muttered, in a best attempt at explaining what had happened without giving the whole story. It seemed pretty lame.

"Oh." Lavi said, surprised. He hadn't really been expecting that, although he hadn't really thought his little theory was actually true either. In fact, he had thought that Allen had simply picked it up somewhere and thought it was pretty, so kept it.

"So quit it with the stupid theories." Allen muttered, tugging off his other boot. "Nothing like that would happen to me."

There was a long silence, in which Lavi could neither agree or disagree. On one hand, Allen _was_ pretty gorgeous for a guy, and had a great personality (when there was nothing to do with Cross or gambling around), and he was kind and caring, and would probably be able to take care of a girl if he so decided.

However, on the other hand, he was an exorcist. People didn't approach exorcists because of their strange appearances. The automatic thoughts that rolled through a person's head were usually weird, danger, or important. Generally, all three of those things could make a person stay away from someone. Plus, for an exorcist to suddenly be involved in a love life with someone outside of the order, who couldn't understand the sorrows and pains and risks of being an exorcist, there would probably be more problems and heartbreak than anything.

He knew that Allen was referring to his eye, his white hair, and the innocence he had been both blessed and cursed with. Yet, Lavi found that these things didn't make him hideous, but rather, added to his character and his beauty. Without them, Allen wouldn't be the same person he was today. _Just like one day he won't be anyways._

"Lavi?" the redhead jumped, shocked by the weakness in the boy's voice. When he looked at Allen, he was bent over, hugging his knees, his eyes hidden behind a curtain of silver. "What's it like…to love a person?"

Lavi stared at Allen for a long time, unsure what to say or do. The question confused him, and it was also the one question that he had no possible answer to.

As far as he knew, he had never experienced love before. There was no logical explanation to how a person feels, or why they do the things they do. There was no theory or proof or history. Love was something that was unpredictable, and something that couldn't be recorded. It was something a Bookman couldn't cover.

It was something Lavi was sure he would be unable to experience, no matter how much he longed for it. Something he had longed for since he had first met Allen.

"You shouldn't ask me." Lavi finally said, falling backwards onto his bed.

"Why not?" Allen demanded, not liking this answer. He had expected more, something he could use, something that could explain the churning feeling in his stomach every time he thought of the word, which was often since talking to the vanishing girl.

"I'm a bookman, even if it is only apprentice." Lavi whispered. "I don't feel love."

"Bookman or not…" Allen whispered, lifting his head from his knees. "You can still feel love."

"Then why are you asking me this question? It should be the same for you." Lavi replied.

"The only love I've ever felt…is for the people of the Order, and Mana. That's not the love I'm trying to ask about." Allen replied, sinking back down. This time, it was to hide the blush that was beginning to appear.

Lavi was silent for a moment, mauling over his answer, trying to figure out a hidden message that could have been there. Finally, he said, "How could I have experienced that love when I haven't even felt the love you have?"

There was a shocked silence, and something inside of Allen broke. "You don't…love me?" he whispered, for some reason the words that Lavi had spoken bringing that up as the very first thing.

This time, Lavi did not ponder his words or stay quiet. He hadn't realized that he would have insinuated that when he said that, and immediately sat up, looking at Allen in worry. "That's not what I meant." He blurted, then smacked himself. "I mean…it is…but it isn't…"

Why was he suddenly so guilty? Why did he mean what he was saying right now? He wasn't just trying to make Allen feel better, it was _true_. He _hadn't_ meant it, not towards Allen.

Why was Allen always the exception to everything?

"Not towards you…" Lavi whispered, letting out a heavy sigh. Bookman was going to kill him for what Lavi was about to do. "You've always been my exception…"

Allen said nothing, and Lavi thought maybe he didn't believe him, but in reality, Allen was just too shocked to say anything. He stared at the floor with wide eyes, the words sending unexplained butterflies to his stomach.

Before anything else could be said, a loud cheering was heard from outside. Lavi jumped, scrambling off the bed and going to the window, where tons of people were beginning to gather, heading towards the main street, where the festival was going to be held. "The festival's about to start. Let's go."

"You want to?" Allen asked, finally looking up. His stomach was squirming as he looked into Lavi's eye.

"Well, yeah, sure. Not like we have anything else to do. We can't start traveling until morning, and the only thing to do besides go to a festival, which provides perfect entertainment by the way, is sleeping. So, festival." Lavi clapped his hands together, and Allen, knowing the redhead wouldn't take no as an answer, stood up.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is take off our exorcist coats. If an Akuma appears, we'll know right away anyways, so there's no point in wearing coats. That way, we can join in a bit more." Lavi smiled gently, taking off his coat as he spoke.

Allen, hesitant, slowly unbuttoned his coat. Lavi, the impatient person that he could be sometimes, gave an exasperated sigh and closed the distance between them, unbuttoning Allen's shirt for him.

"L-Lavi!" Allen stuttered, his face growing red. "I'm not a child! I can take off my own coat."

"You're taking too long. I want to go to the festival." Lavi looked into Allen's eyes and smiled gently. "Together."

Allen blushed, looking away from Lavi's deep gaze. "R-right." He muttered, clasping his hands together behind his back. Lavi finished, and Allen was quick to slip his coat off his shoulders. Throwing it onto his bed, he stood there, unsure of what to do, while Lavi began to run around the room doing random little things.

"All right, let's go." Lavi finally said, grabbing something off the table and putting it in his pants pocket. Allen nodded, turning and heading for the door, feeling oddly shy. Had it been because of that girl? Why were her words striking so deep? They shouldn't have really meant anything.

A few minutes later and they had reached the main event, crowds of people roaming the streets and standing at booths and doing random little events. The first thing Lavi did was drag Allen to a pie throwing contest.

As they went around the area, going to the different attractions and buying random food, mostly for Allen, Lavi began to notice a change in Allen's behavior. Instead of getting angry at little things Lavi did or said, Allen would either laugh or just blush. As they walked around, he would answer Lavi as politely as if he had just met him. When Lavi wasn't talking to him, or when he thought Lavi wasn't paying attention, Allen would get a sort of glazed look in his eye.

Something was going on inside that boy's head, and Lavi was beginning to get unbelievably curious.

"Lavi, let's go there," Allen stated suddenly, pointing to a small booth carrying odd little trinkets. An old woman stood there, her face covered by a hood, greeting people and beckoning people over. Lavi frowned.

"Why do you want to go there?" He asked.

"I saw something I liked." Allen muttered, looking away. "If you don't want to go, then we don't have to."

"No, no, let's go." Lavi grinned, trying to show that he didn't mind, but Allen let out a small sigh.

"Lavi…" he muttered, looking up at the redhead. His heart nearly stopped, the look in Allen's eyes making his throat clench.

"Y-yeah?" Lavi stuttered, trying not to look at him. In an attempt to make it seem like he was interested in something else, he looked at the booth that Allen had pointed to, but found himself looking away immediately. The old lady was staring directly at him.

"Lavi…let's go back to the hotel room." Allen whispered, also looking away from Lavi. He was unsure of what he was doing at the moment, but felt that he needed to follow through with it.

"The…hotel?" Lavi asked, returning his attention to Allen. "What about the festival?"

Allen winced, and bit his lip. Why not finally admit why he didn't want to be here? Why not confide in Lavi? Why not finally let it be known why he had been so uptight since that morning?

"Mana…and I…we used to be performers. We used to live traveling to various festivals and circuses in order to earn money, since it was something where we could show our talents." Allen looked up at Lavi, who was now staring directly at the cursed boy. "I've been to too many festivals, Lavi. Enough to last me a life time."

Lavi had known about Allen traveling with his step-father, that he had been something of a performer, but Allen's words still came as a surprise. "Then…we can go back…"

"Lavi, have you ever done something so much that you've just become sick of it?" Allen asked, looking to where the old lady was at her booth. She was still watching them.

Lavi took a while to answer, refusing to look at Allen's face as he told himself to be honest. Not just with Allen, but with himself. "Yes." He whispered finally, and Allen smiled gently.

"Then you understand, don't you? Why I don't want to be standing here right now, having this conversation with you?" Allen asked, watching as the old lady pulled something out of her cloak.

"I guess so." Lavi whispered. "Let's go back, then, Allen. Besides, we need to make plans for tomorrow."

But Allen didn't answer. He stared at the old lady, his heart beginning to beat faster with every second. The old lady stood there, holding out a blood red rose, thorns and all, an understanding smile on her features. A very familiar smile.

Before Lavi could stop him, Allen ran to the booth, stopping in front of the old lady. "That rose…" he said, as soon as he stopped. "Where did you get that rose?"

"Do you want it, child?" The old woman asked. "You can give it to the one you love, and it may bring you luck."

Allen stared at the old woman, the same smile as the young girl he had seen earlier on her face. Trying to see past the wrinkles, he reached forward. Maybe…if he touched her…

"Allen?" Lavi's voice broke into Allen's trance, and he jumped. He looked at Lavi, and then back to the old lady.

"How much would you like for the rose?" Allen asked, trying to ignore the suspicious stares he was receiving from the curious redhead.

"You can have it, dear. Consider it a gift from me to you. You look like you could use it." The old woman winked, and Allen stared at her in surprise, before realizing that Lavi was there and he could not question her, otherwise Lavi would most likely do something unnecessary…or at least, that's what he told himself.

"Thank you," he said, taking the rose.

"Allen, what're you doing?" Lavi asked, confused. "You have one on your bed at the hotel."

"I need this one," Allen muttered.

"Why?" Lavi asked, beginning to get a little wierded out. They had gone from happily going through a festival to admitting feelings to…this. What exactly was _this_, though?

"Lavi, let's go for a walk." Allen blurted, his face beginning to grow red. Lavi blinked, raising both eyebrows.

"Say what now?" he asked, looking around. Had Allen seen something, or maybe a girl he wanted to follow? "If it's to follow a girl, I'm totally there for you, man."

"Shut up!" Allen snapped, and then grabbed Lavi's sleeve. "It's for you!"

"For…me…?" Lavi trailed, allowing Allen to suddenly drag him off.

Allen didn't say anything, his face burning the whole time as many different thoughts and emotions ran through him, the thoughts of his past long forgotten as he focused on the many options that could be his future. He was also focused on one other thing, something he wished he had noticed a little earlier.

Perhaps it was because of the girl that he had realized it, or maybe it was the festival. Maybe he had just realized it out of nowhere, or maybe it had been seeing that beautiful, blood red rose, a rose that resembled Lavi with its untouchable thorns, yet still so unbelievably mysterious and gorgeous.

Something that Allen hadn't realized before.

He dragged Lavi into the forest outside of the town, deep into it, to the point where Lavi was beginning to wonder if maybe Allen had somehow been possessed and was about to kill him where no one could see. Of course, as absurd as it may have seemed, the option was still there, and because of it Lavi needed to be on guard. His fingers brushed against his Innocence, ready to grab it if necessary.

One other option made Lavi's heart clench. The fourteenth may have finally made its appearance.

As Lavi continued to think over his options, paying attention to any significant landmarks or odd trees and paying attention to when they turned or when they had to step over something, Allen's sudden epiphany was becoming more and more clear.

Allen stopped abruptly, and Lavi walked directly into him. Lavi reached for his hammer, closing his eyes, his heart squeezing in regret, his inner self battling with him, when something unexpected happened.

Allen's lips connected with his, his arms suddenly throwing themselves around the redhead.

In that moment, something became very clear in both of their minds.

Friendship was something that could not be replaced. It was something that everyone needed in order to survive, something neither Allen nor Lavi would have ever been able to understand had they not met each other. But sometimes, it was because of friendship that something much more, something amazing could happen.

Maybe friendship was just something that led up to it. Maybe _it_ was always there, waiting to reveal itself at the right moment, but always there. Maybe it had always been there, since the moment they had met, since the time Lavi had forced Allen to make snowmen with him, since Lavi had saved Allen in that cobblestone street, where Allen had been offered a flower during a time of vulnerability.

Just like now.

"Lavi." Suddenly, Allen's voice was so much stronger, so much more determined. "I love you."

There was a very long silence, in which Allen stared into Lavi's eyes with such fire that the redhead couldn't help but feel submissive. In answer, all he could do was press his lips to Allen's again, to feel that wonderful feeling that only Allen could give him.

Something wet was running down his face. Surprised, he pulled away from Allen, reaching over the boy's arms in order to touch his face. When he saw the tear on his finger, more came.

Lavi's body suddenly shook, and he laughed. His arms wrapped themselves around Allen's slim waist, pulling the boy closer, and he rested his forehead on the shorter boy's shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered. "I lied…"

"About what?" Allen asked, his innocent voice making Lavi's heart squeeze.

"I have felt that kind of love before." He whispered, a small smile forming on his lips. Allen's body shook as he laughed.

"I forgive you." He whispered.

A long, comfortable silence passed by, in which Lavi shifted his position from resting on the boy's shoulder to burrowing his face in the snow white hair. After a while, Allen pulled away from him.

"Lavi…" Allen muttered, looking into that single, mysterious green eye. "I wanted you to have this," he whispered, and held out the blood red rose. Lavi stared at it, the soft petals blowing in the gentle breeze that swept by.

"Keep it." Lavi said firmly, looking into Allen's eyes. Suddenly, the boy looked anguished and rejected, before Lavi smiled. "Consider it a gift. You look like you could use it. Besides, we have another one waiting on your bed."

Immediately, the anguish disappeared, replaced by a beautiful smile. Lavi felt his heart go out to the boy, who, only minutes ago, had been so burdened by his past.

Now, he would be burdened by his future, because Lavi knew that his choice would only bring trouble. However, there was nothing that said it wouldn't be happy.

"I'll find a way to save you." Lavi whispered, lifting his hand and placing it on Allen's cheek. "And when I do…"

Lavi didn't finish. He left the rest unsaid. He had a feeling Allen understood what Lavi wanted to say.

He had a feeling that this wonderful, mysterious boy would always understand him, whether he knew it or not.

His frown would be something that Lavi would be sure to eliminate every passing minute, and if Allen were to frown, Lavi would only let it be because of him.

The clown's frown would never be seen again.

_Culture: Fin_

A/N: Wow. Seriously, I had no idea what to write for this one. I guess it went something like this:

_Culture…culture…culture…hmm…festivals…festivals equal culture…therefore, festivals can be used for culture. Huh…I wonder if many people will use festivals for culture…hmm…well, whatever. Culture equals festival. Good enough for me._

Or, something like that. I also had carnival as an idea, but I decided I'd go with a festival. Obviously this little story wasn't actually about the festival…but whatever.

Let me know what you think! And happy first day of Laven week! It's gonna be fun.


	2. The Choices We Are Faced With

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Rating: T

Summary: Allen followed through the same routine every day. There was never a change. Until the day he decided he'd run away, and was joined by an eccentric redhead he had never seen before.

Day Two: New Day

_The Choices We Are Faced With_

* * *

Do you remember the first time we met? I told you my whole life story, and all you did was sit and watch me. Your eyes were so understanding, and you just took everything in, never saying a word. I never told you, but during that time I was happier than you could imagine to have you there, listening to me, someone who wasn't a part of the life I had been trying to leave behind.

I never knew it then, either, how bad you actually had it. Sometimes, looking back, I feel a little selfish, a little foolish…why hadn't I noticed the way your eyes were always so sad?

* * *

Wake up. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Brush teeth. Go to the washroom. Grab school bag. Fight with Master. Go to school. Deal with English, be lazy for P.E., eat lunch with Lenalee, fight with Yuu Kanda, go to class and deal with Math then Cooking. Go home. Eat. Fight with Master. Go to room and watch Discovery Channel, then Peach Tree. Eat dinner. Go on computer. Go to bed.

Then, when I wake up in the morning, I would follow exactly the same schedule.

I didn't even have a job to spice it up every now and then. Every day was exactly the same. Yet I did nothing to change it. Why bother? No one would try with me. I was the only one who was unhappy with the way things were.

Everyone else was in their own blissful world, now that Kanda had officially asked Lenalee out. My master, or Cross Marian, was perfectly happy with his lifestyle, even though he didn't have enough money to be pulling it off and I was in the way. Everyone else, too, was happy with their routines. I was the only one left behind, not sure of my path, not sure of what I wanted for my future.

I suppose it was to be expected. It wasn't exactly like I had the best influences at home, or like anyone really supported me at school. It wasn't like I _let_ anyone support me at school. I preferred being quiet and secluded, and the only people I ever spent time around were Kanda and Lenalee, and the only reason Kanda was involved in this was because of Lenalee.

Even now, I was heading to school, where I would meet Lenalee outside by the biggest tree, and surely Kanda would be there too, sitting quietly with that annoying scowl on his face. It had softened lately, though, after Lenalee had said yes to his confession. In a weird sort of way I was happy for him, although in the end I just hated him more for it.

Why did he have to take away the last thing I had left?

There really wasn't anything left for me here, in this town that always stayed the same, with the same people who were in the same families that had lived there for generations. I was the only one who didn't come from a long line of ancestors who had lived there probably since the town had first been created. Me and Master.

I only lived with Master because my father, or rather the man who had taken me in when no one else would, had disappeared. When I was younger, around nine or ten, this had happened. At first Master would come up with stupid excuses like 'he's just gone for a while, he'll be back soon', but after I turned fourteen he started telling me the truth.

Mana had run away.

I still didn't know _why_ he had run away, or why he had left me behind to live with someone he knew I didn't like much. I wasn't sure I would be too forgiving when I saw him again, either.

"Next stop: Maple Wood High."

I jumped, looking over, where an odd looking man was sitting, maybe two years older than me. Wild red hair stood high, supported by a green headband, two emerald green orbs looking into my own gray ones. A crooked smirk was on his pale features, his canine tooth visible. He sat next to me with one leg on the seat and the other on the ground, turned towards me, one arm slung over the back of the seat.

"You're getting off there, right?" He pushed.

"Huh?" Was my response.

He just laughed, bring his leg down and standing up. He stood there, holding the bar above his head, at least five inches taller than me, giving me that odd smirk. "You live here, right? So the high school you'd be going to would be Maple Wood, right?"

"Uh…yeah…" I replied, then blushed in embarrassment. I hadn't even noticed the bus getting closer to the school. I rang the bell, only to find that it had already been rung, and then stood up, frowning, still embarrassed. When I shuffled past the strange boy, I brushed against his arm, and my stomach flipped. "Thanks…for reminding me…"

"No problem, kid. I thought you were a middle school-er at first, but I thought I'd warn you just in case." My eye twitched, and I turned away from the redhead, no longer thankful.

The bus came to a halt, and I didn't bother turning to look at the redhead before getting off, or after getting off, simply walking towards the school, a scowl on my face.

"Allen, why do you look so upset?" Lenalee asked as soon as she saw me, her long hair pulled into a bun today. That was new.

"Nothing at all, Lenalee." I assured, quick to slap on my usual smile. I looked down, and sure enough Kanda sat there, glaring at anyone passing by. When I looked at him, his eyes strayed up to meet mine, and the scowl intensified. Immediately, the smile disappeared, replaced by the same scowl Kanda showed.

"Tch. Stupid bean sprout, you came today, too?" He said bitterly, and I felt my eye twitch.

"Is Allen too difficult for you to remember in your tiny little brain, Idiot Kanda?" I retorted. "It's only two syllables, but I guess that's too difficult for you."

"What'd you say?" Kanda was on his feet in seconds, his hands in fists, ready to charge.

"Oh stop it, you two." Lenalee sighed, stepping in front of Kanda. "Honestly. We go through this every morning and every lunch. Kanda, why don't you just call Allen by his name instead of making fun of him? It would make things a lot easier between you two."

I didn't feel like giving in just yet, and only more anger escalated when I saw Kanda begin to calm down, looking away with another 'tch'. The anger I felt towards the redheaded boy for calling me a kid, and the anger I felt towards Kanda, and the anger I felt towards Master for yelling at me this morning for not having a job, and the anger I felt towards this boring life that I dealt with every day was all gathering up inside of me, ready to burst.

"Yeah, Kanda, maybe if you didn't start so many fights your parents would still love you." I snapped. "Maybe they'd actually let you in their house instead of abandoning you."

Immediately, the anger that had disappeared was back again, ten times worse. This time, Lenalee wouldn't be able to stop him. He shoved Lenalee to the side, though it was still gentle, and charged for me, his fist raised. I grinned, leaning forward, ready to meet him.

"Allen Walker, Yuu Kanda, office, now!" Kanda froze, a foot away from me, and I looked over to where the voice had come from. The vice principle, a man who was probably in his thirties or so with long blond hair and a sharp gaze, was standing a few feet away, watching us.

"Ah…Mr. Link…" I hesitated, glancing at Kanda, before stepping towards the man. Kanda followed, and our vice principal turned, beginning to walk in the direction of the entrance to the school.

I glanced back at Lenalee, giving her an apologetic expression, though she didn't seem very pleased with me, before quickly following after him. Mr. Link lead us to the office, and when we arrived he simply gestured to the waiting bench before disappearing into the principle's office. Kanda and I sat down on opposite sides of the bench, not talking to each other or looking at each other. We often went through this.

Five minutes later, Link walked out, followed closely by our principal, Mrs. Nine.

A lot of people thought the two were siblings, what with the same perfectly blond hair and the sharp eyes, but during a time when Kanda and I had been sitting here, for the exact same reason, I had asked and she had said they weren't. I had a feeling she would have laughed if we hadn't of been in trouble.

Our principle had five large scars over her right eye, like finger nails, but no one had ever asked what they were from. Her other eyes was pretty much completely covered by her bangs, and if it weren't for the stern look that she always had her features would be soft, and she was actually a very beautiful woman, if not for the fact that she were our principal.

"You two…" She sighed, raising a ringed hand to her face. Her wedding ring stood out on her long and elegant hand, as if it were saying 'look at me!'

"Tch. Why are you even bothering trying to lecture us?" Kanda snapped, and I shot a glare his way. Was he trying to get us into worse trouble?

Mrs. Nine glared sharply at Kanda, her hand dropping. "This was almost the third time this week, and you're lucky Link came to stop you before it actually _became_ a third time. Every week you two get into a fight that causes more trouble than need be, and every week _I'm_ the one who's held responsible by the other teachers, saying that I'm not being stern enough with you two."

"Mrs. Nine…" I stopped, looking away from the glare she suddenly gave me.

"Right now, Walker, I don't want to hear a single word out of your mouth. Link told me what you said to Kanda. That's not something _any_ student should say to _anybody_, do you understand?" She snapped. "Just because you have that worthless Cross as a guardian doesn't mean you can go ahead and act like him!"

I winced, biting my lip and dipping my head down. Brown hair came into my vision, the ends looking a little split. It was time for a haircut soon.

"You two are suspended until further notice."

"What!?" Kanda and I both demanded at the same time, sitting up straight and staring at her in disbelief.

"It's the only thing that I can think of that will keep you two away from each other, keep the teachers satisfied, and make it so that I don't have to deal with you for a little while." She explained, none too nicely.

"But…Master…" I squeaked.

"Lenalee…" Kanda muttered.

"Stop complaining, you two. Now get out and go home. I don't want to see you here until I call you and tell you to come back." With that, Mrs. Nine turned and returned to her office, leaving us there, Mr. Link standing there and watching us with a heavy scowl.

Ten minutes later the bell rang, just as Kanda and I were leaving the school, neither one of us looking or talking to each other.

Lenalee was waiting for us at the front steps, but she didn't even look at me, going straight for Kanda. I watched her go to him, embracing him, watched as Kanda's cheeks turned a little red before returning the embrace, and watched as Lenalee whispered into his shirt.

An empty sort of feeling filled me, and I turned away, saying nothing, adjusting the straps of my backpack so they were more comfortable before descending the stairs.

Lenalee didn't call me back, Kanda didn't insult me as I left, Mrs. Nine didn't randomly appear and say forget about it. I just left, going to the bus stop, leaning against the pole with the stop sign on it, and stared into the distance.

I couldn't go back to the house now. Master wouldn't be calm about this. There was no way I could face him.

The bus pulled to a stop in front of me five minutes later, and I got on, swiping my bus pass before dragging my feet to the back, taking off my backpack before sitting down. As the bus pulled away from the curb, I looked over to where the school was. Kanda was just leaving, Lenalee watching him from the doorway.

Neither of them would miss me.

Cross wouldn't miss me, either. In fact, he was always telling me how much of a burden I was.

No one in the school would miss me, since I wasn't exactly important to anyone, and the principal had basically just said that if I weren't around things would be way easier for her.

In the end, I wasn't really needed in this town.

I didn't pull the string when we began to reach the stop that would bring me to my house, my eyes roaming over every house that we passed, in a way saying goodbye to them. Hopefully, this would be the last time I would have to see them.

I didn't get off the bus until it reached the bus station, the traveling one. In my backpack, I pulled out a plastic grocery bag, unraveling it and reaching inside. I pulled out a wad of money, money that never left my backpack, in case of an emergency.

In a way, this was sort of an emergency.

I dragged my feet into the bus station, but I didn't go straight to the counter. Instead, I went over to the vending machines, pulling out the little change I had in my pockets and buying a bag of chips. I was starting to get hungry. Plus, I needed to figure out exactly where I was going.

I tried to be conspicuous about it, glancing at the times the buses would be leaving and looking at the list of places that they would be going to. The one that would leave the earliest, in fifteen minutes, was going to Vancouver.

I'd never been there before.

With a heavy sigh, I walked to the counter, the wad of money in my hands, which were shaking. I wasn't exactly sure of what I was doing, but in the end it was the only way I would be able to leave this place. I didn't want to be here anymore. Nobody wanted me here. I had no future here. if I left, I might be able to find a job, pay for my own education, enroll at some high school and say that I was abandoned but still want to learn or something.

Whatever I did, it would most likely be better than living here.

"A one-way ticket to Vancouver, please." I said when I reached the desk, and the man behind the counter gave me a suspicious look.

"How old are you, kid?" He asked.

"Fifteen." I replied, giving a small smile.

"Why are you going to Vancouver with such a little amount of stuff?"

"I'm visiting my mother. She has stuff for me there, and she said she'd drive me back so I didn't need to get a second ticket." I said easily, the lie slipping over my tongue like nothing.

"Sure you're not a runaway?" The man asked suspiciously.

On the inside, my stomach squeezed, but I just gave him an incredulous and innocent look. "Why would I do that?" I asked.

"Whatever." The man sighed, holding out his hand. "$27.36."

I obliged, pulling out the right amount of money and handing it over. I waited patiently for my ticket, and when he gave it to me I immediately turned away and headed for the doors again. The bus was outside, and it would be leaving any minute. I didn't want to miss it. Plus, the suspicious glance of that man was really starting to get to me.

The bus didn't have too many people on it. I guess that was normal, considering it was a Wednesday and it was still relatively early in the morning. I sat down somewhere in the middle, placing my backpack next to me, which only held a single change of clothes, my homework from last night, and my gym strip. My lunch was usually something I bought, meaning I would have to get something more to eat than a small bag of chips in Vancouver.

I opened my bag, digging into it until I found the book I was reading right now for novel study, something we were able to choose on our own. At the moment, I was thankful I liked thick books, since this was most likely going to be a long journey, and having _something_ to do was nice.

I opened the page to where I was and started reading, ignoring the people around me, trying to focus my whole mind on the book, attempting to forget that I was running away, because if I thought about it too much then I would most likely change my mind or become scared, and at the moment I was simply running on a high from everything that had happened. As soon as that high was gone, I knew I would be giving absolutely everything second thoughts.

"Fancy meeting you here, sprout." I froze, looking up.

Although the words were something that Kanda would most likely say, it was said in a much more joking manner, with a voice that was much more boyish, and was actually…sincere.

"You again." I said dully, too surprised to say anything else. The redhead just grinned, taking a seat next to me and pulling off his headband. His hair fell down so that it framed his handsome face, and he looked at me with a smile.

"The name's Lavi." He said, sticking out a hand.

"Allen…" I muttered, taking his hand before quickly dropping it again. My face flushed. "Are you following me or something?"

"Nope. This is purely coincidence." Lavi replied, grinning. I raised an eyebrow suspiciously, my cheeks still a little red.

"Why were you on the bus that was going in the opposite direction of the bus station, then?" I asked.

Here, Lavi turned a little red. "I…kind of got on the wrong bus…" he muttered. "I don't exactly live here, so…"

"You got lost?" I summed up.

"Basically…I thought the bus I was getting on led me to the bus _terminal_, not the bus _garage_." Lavi explained, giving a sheepish smile. I wondered if maybe I was sitting next to an idiot.

"Well, you're obviously on the right bus now…" I sighed, looking back down at my book. When I glanced at the redhead from the corner of my eye, he was pouting, looking at me in slight disbelief, before suddenly turning to face forward, crossing his arms in a childish manner. What was his problem?

The bus suddenly started up, startling me a little, and suddenly my whole body filled with dread.

I was actually going to do this?

I didn't look up from my book, focusing on the words, but they kept getting more and more blurry…as if they were telling me not to read them…telling me to get off the bus, and just go home…

_What home? If I tell Master I was suspended he'd just kick me out anyways, just like what happened to Kanda…except I don't exactly have a Lenalee to mooch off of._

The bus started moving, and my hands clutched the book. Sweat began to form, my heart accelerating, and I bit my lip.

"Hey, relax." I jumped, looking over, and found Lavi watching me. His eyes showed concern, which confused me. "You keep up being that stressed and your hair will turn white."

I frowned, looking away from him without saying anything, attempting to read the paragraph I had been on. What had that sentence been…?

For a half an hour I sat there in silence next to the odd redheaded boy. The further we went along, the worse my nervousness got. Soon, the words just became a blur of black and white, and I could no longer translate the little black letters. My palms were sweaty, and it was beginning to make the book a little damp.

Finally, I broke. I needed something to distract me, and the redhead was sitting so close to me, like an electric current.

"Where…" I began quietly, looking up at him. "Are you going?"

"Huh?" Lavi looked at me, apparently surprised I had talked to him.

Now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen him with any luggage, and he didn't have any sort of bag on him. Was he a runaway too, like me?

"Are you going to Vancouver too?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah." He grinned. "Only for a little while, though. Just gotta visit someone and then I'll be on my way again."

"Where?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"Who knows…" he sighed lightly, the smile fading away, replaced by a far away look. I stared at him, wondering what had caused the sudden change.

"Why are you traveling?" I asked, ignoring the look that struck something deep in my heart.

"I guess I just can't stay put." The silly grin was back, and he winked. "I'm what you call a Traveler. We come in various shapes and sizes. I'm one of the younger versions, but this is basically what we do. Travel. How we get our money and how we get by we decide for ourselves. We never stay in one place, no matter how emotionally attached we may become to it."

"Why not?" I asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Well…we all have our reasons for being a Traveler. Because of the past, because of what could have been our future…a lot of us _can't_ stay put, but some of us don't stay put because we're afraid." His voice grew quiet, and he let out a soft sigh. "That's what being a Traveler is, though."

"What is it, some kind of gang?" I asked, a little incredulous. Lavi laughed.

"You're a funny one, kid. Why are _you_ leaving home, anyways? You were happily headed to school like an hour ago." Lavi pointed out, and I frowned.

"I wouldn't say happily." I muttered. Lavi chuckled. I looked at him, staring into his green orbs, various thoughts running through my head. Finally, I let out a soft sigh, and opened my mouth.

I told him everything.

I told him about Mana, about Cross, and about my friends and school and town, and why I hated it, why I chose to leave. I told him about my life, about my thoughts on life, and about the life I would have wished to live instead. I told him everything from vain to stupid to heartbreaking. The only time he interrupted was when I mentioned the reason Mana had left.

"Maybe he was a Traveler." He said, grinning foolishly. I just glared at him, rolling my eyes.

"Just because you're one doesn't mean anyone who runs away is one." I pointed out.

"Well…I never said you were one, and from what you've told me about what happened today, I could have easily just said that you were one, too. However, I'm just going to stick to runaway. Suits you better. You're too childish to be one of us." He winked, giving me a goofy grin, and I felt like hitting him.

"What makes you think I can't be a Traveler?" I snapped.

"I never said you couldn't be one," Lavi corrected in a matter of fact tone. "Go ahead and be one, if you can. It's not as easy as it seems, you know."

I said nothing, looking away from him, feeling agitated all of a sudden. When there was nothing said for five minutes, he poked me on my shoulder. I snapped at him, attempting to bite the finger, and he jumped back, a look of shock on his face.

"What the hell was that for?!" He demanded, holding his finger dearly to his chest, as if it were suddenly the most precious thing in the world.

"Don't touch me." I snapped, barring my teeth and glaring at him. Suddenly, he laughed, though he still looked a little scared.

"You're like a dog. Maybe I should call you Poochie." He said, half strained half amused. My eye twitched. Most likely sensing the danger, he quickly waved it away, literally. He waved his hands around, sitting up straight and giving me a huge, nervous grin. "Never mind, never mind, just forget I said anything. So, are you going to continue on with your story?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah…" I trailed off, thinking about where I had left off. I couldn't quite understand it, why I wanted so badly to tell this man everything, but I found myself eager.

He listened to me talk all the way to Vancouver. I got more and more animated, telling him little stories about my life that I would suddenly remember, telling him about books I had read, telling him about my favorite movies and music, and telling him about my ideas that I thought would be cool to use for a movie or have a book written about.

Never once did he talk about himself.

"_We have now arrived at the Vancouver Terminal. Please remain in your seats until we have come to a full stop and the doors are open_."

The scratchy voice interrupted me, and I looked out the window, surprised. As the bus came to a stop in one of the parking lots, Lavi began to move around, digging in his pockets. I watched him curiously, wondering what he could be doing.

I hadn't noticed until then, but his pants were extremely baggy. He had at least ten pockets, and all of them were huge. When he moved his hands around in them I could hear various things moving. Maybe that was where he kept all of his stuff.

Then I noticed something else. He was clean.

Wasn't someone who didn't have a home and who didn't have much money usually a little…dirty? Yet his clothes were perfectly clean, in perfectly good shape, they looked like the latest style, and he definitely didn't _look_ like someone who traveled all the time. He just looked like any normal teenager about to go roam the city with his friends.

The bus came to a halt at the same time Lavi found whatever it was he was looking for. He pulled out a scrap piece of paper and a pen, and gave me a grin before twirling his finger in front of my face. "Turn around, sprout. I need your back for a second."

A little agitated he hadn't used my real name, I still obliged, allowing him to use my back as a writing post. I could feel the pen scratching against my back as he wrote something on there, and when he stopped writing, the piece of paper was suddenly in my face. The bus was already half empty, but I didn't really care. It wasn't like the bus was going to move right away.

"Take this. It's a number you can reach me at." He said, and I took the paper, staring at it curiously. The seven digit number was written in a neat scrawl, the area code directly above it. "I can't guarantee that I'll always be able to answer it, but if you call here you'll be able to contact me…at least, while I'm here."

"You said you were a Traveler or something, right? So, why do you know people here?" I asked. "Have you already been here before?"

Lavi frowned, his face suddenly turning dark. "Travelers don't normally go to the same place twice, but this time it's different." He paused, and sighed. "Look, if you need me, and if I'm still around, all you have to do is call that number. I'll come running. After all…I sense potential in you, Allen."

"Potential?" I asked.

"Instead of a runaway, you can become a Traveler. Something tells me you'd be good at it." He smiled, standing up, and began walking down the bus aisle. I watched him go, a little mystified, before a small smile traced my lips.

"Thank you, Lavi." I whispered, even though he couldn't hear it. I sort of wanted it that way. Something told me he was the kind of guy who got a big head after that sort of thing.

* * *

I sighed, staring at the black sky. It was Vancouver, it was night time, and I was currently sitting outside, completely alone and completely defenseless.

It wasn't like I really had much of a choice. I didn't have _tons_ of money. I had enough for food, but that was basically it. I needed to find a printer and a computer so I could make a resume and actually work, that way I would be able to at least get a hotel room or something until I could figure out something more solid.

It had been two days, and the piece of paper in pocket sometimes felt like it burnt. Every few minutes I would pull it out and stare at it, to the point where I had now memorized the number.

Various times I would stop in front of a payphone, sometimes even pace in front of it for hours while crumpling and uncrumpling the paper. It was a mess now, barely even readable, but I didn't need it anymore. It was stored in my memory.

However, I couldn't find it in me to call the redhead, since I didn't even know _why_ I wanted to call him.

Personally, I'd never really had an interest in people. I never liked girls, I never liked guys. I'd never had any kind of feelings towards anybody before. Yet every time I thought of Lavi, my stomach squirmed and my heart squeezed, and my cheeks would suddenly flush. I would remember his smile, the way he had so easily listened to me, how he had let me ramble on and on about myself, and how after only a few hours, in which he didn't really talk, I had felt like I had made the deepest connection to a person than I ever had before.

I sighed again, rubbing my face, trying to settle the odd feeling that was building up in my chest.

I wanted to see him.

What time was it now? Would it be too late to call wherever he was? Was he still there after two days? He had said a week when I had first asked him, but things always changed. Besides, he was a Traveler, wasn't he? He never stayed in one place for too long.

I stood up, suddenly worried, and ran. I ran until I saw the blue telephone booth sign, the light still on inside of it, and then I ran even faster until I reached it. Thank god the door was already open, otherwise I probably would have broken it, or broken myself.

I pulled the phone off the hook, and froze. Suddenly, I felt a little foolish.

He probably was still there, and he would probably think I was odd for even calling in the first place. And what if he didn't answer? It would be awkward asking some random person for him.

I pulled out the piece of paper with the number, even though I didn't need it, and dialed the number, pushing away my fears. If he asked why I was calling, I would just say I needed someone to talk to…

It was true enough. It wasn't like anyone had acknowledged me at all in the past few days besides a few junkies who thought I looked like I had enough money to buy them their next fix. Having an educational conversation would be nice.

I hadn't even noticed the phone had been ringing until the voice interrupted my thoughts. Suddenly, my heart flew to my throat.

"_Yellow, Anita's place. If you're looking for Mahoja, she just said she doesn't exist."_

"_You idiot!"_

"_Ow, ow, I'm sorry!"_

"Well, I'm pretty sure she does exist since you just plainly pointed it out…" I muttered, sighing. "I didn't realize you were an idiot, too."

"…_Allen?"_

My stomach squirmed. "You remember me?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear unexpectedly. There was a small laugh.

"_Ah, yeah, unfortunately. Kind of hard to forget when a kid talks for over five hours about himself."_

I frowned, pouting. "You were the one who asked."

"_Correction; I asked why you ran away. You could've just said it was either that or get killed by your foster parent. Look at that…that's like…eight words."_

I counted in my head. Then I blinked. "Did you just randomly come up with that number?"

"_Yeah, why?"_

"You were right." I sighed. There was a laugh, a dominating one.

"_Well of course I was! I'm _always_ right about everything!"_

"_Stop being so full of yourself, Lavi, and get the fuck out of our house. Anita doesn't need you here anymore. You're just taking up space. And don't give out our number, either!"_

"_You don't need to be so harsh…so, Allen, watcha doing?"_

"Uh…standing in a phone booth desperately wishing for a bath and a bed to sleep on." I admitted sheepishly. Lavi chuckled.

"_Rule one: find a quick job and get money for every day you stay in a city."_

"What is this, The Guidebook for Travelers?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"_Ooh, you're quick. I thought you were going to ask what the hell I was talking about. Well, this is even better. Anyways, yeah, that's basically what I'm teaching you. There's no real book, of course. It's just oral."_

"Well, that's just great, but why are you telling me this?"

"_Well…you need something to do with your life, don't you?"_

I paused, thinking about that. I hadn't bothered with getting into a school. I hadn't bothered trying to find a job. I hadn't really done much in the past couple of days except for roam. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't know the first thing about this place, and I had no idea where I would go to sign up for school or get an apartment. Besides, as a runaway, surely my name would be known by the police by now. Even Cross could get a hint if someone didn't return for three days.

Probably, everyone in town thought I had been kidnapped or something.

Except for Kanda. Something told me he'd be able to guess right.

Still, it would be safer to stay away from legal places and giving my name out too much.

"How do I get a job without my name and resume and stuff?" I asked, confused. It wasn't like I had experience in the area. I was only fifteen, and had only just become qualified to legally work anywhere.

"_Simple: go in and ask for a job for the week or however long you plan on staying. Since this is your first city, you should stay for a little longer. That way you can build up your money."_

"How long should I stay?" I asked.

"_I don't know. A month or two? Remember, don't get attached to anyone."_ There was a pause, in which I had silently taken in his words, and then there was a soft, almost serene sigh. _"Welcome to the Traveling world, kiddo. It's one heck of a ride."_

It sounded like he was about to hang up the phone. His breathing was suddenly not so hearable. My throat clenched, and an odd sound came out. "Wait!" I blurted.

"_What?"_

"Will you…come meet me?" I asked, swallowing. There was another pause, and then a laugh.

"_Did you fall in love with me or something? Was it my charming voice or my beautiful face?"_

I felt my face go red, and I tried to cover up my sudden embarrassment by attempting to act angry. I just sounded like a five year old in denial. "Shut up! You think too highly of yourself!"

"_You're a funny one, Allen."_ He laughed, and I smiled a little, though still embarrassed. _"Yeah, sure, I'll come meet you. Where are you?"_

"Uh…" I blinked a few times, looking around. "I have no idea. Lavi, I think I'm lost."

A burst of laugher erupted in my ear and I had to pull the receiver away. Pouting, I put the receiver back when the laughing wasn't so loud.

"_Alright, look outside and tell me what you see. Add buildings, street names, everything. Anita and Mahoja can figure it out."_

I described everything to him, including the people and the angle of the booth and the street signs and lights and what was up and down the street. After a while, a much more feminine voice that the first one that hadn't been Lavi's suddenly cried out.

"_Oh, I know where he is! I met someone there a long time ago!"_

"_Who on earth were you meeting in a phone booth, Anita?" _Lavi's voice asked, sounding a little suspicious. I stifled a laugh.

"_Shut up, Lavi. That's besides the point. Anyways, go get in the car, I'll drive you there. Mahoja, you can stay here and hold down the fort, since you can't go out right now anyways."_

"_Yes, Anita."_

"_You sound like some kind of slave or something…well, we'll see you in a few, Allen."_ Lavi's voice said, and then suddenly the tone went dead.

I blinked a few times, looking around, wondering just how long it would take for them to get here.

While I was waiting, I reigned in my nerves. Why was I so nervous in the first place, to see Lavi again?

_Did you fall in love with me or something?_

I swallowed, blushing as I looked down at the pavement.

Love was such a deep word, something that described something so much more powerful than just holding hands and kissing, saying that you were boyfriend and girlfriend, or in some cases boy, boy and girl, girl. It was something that was carelessly tossed around, yet for some reason when Lavi had said that…

There was nothing tossed around about it at all. The way he had said the word, it was like love itself was his lover.

Suddenly, I wanted to know so much more about this redhead, this man who had suddenly come into my life and changed it. Or rather, helped me change it.

I wonder, if he hadn't of appeared on that bus, if he hadn't of gotten me agitated by calling me a kid or made me aware that I was about to miss my stop, would any of this ever of happened? If he hadn't of been the one to sit next to me on that traveling bus, if it had of been anyone else, would I have been able to stay on that bus all the way to where I was now?

Was something like this fate?

"Hey, Allen!" I jumped, looking up. Lavi, in all his glory, was getting out of an old looking car. He leaned into the window, talking for a minute to a very beautiful looking woman before standing up straight again and watching her drive off. He turned back to me, and gave me a huge smile.

I stood up, suddenly nervous again. "H-hi." I said, giving a small wave.

"Why so nervous? Afraid I'm going to reject you?" he asked, laughing. "I do have to admit, I am a bit of a player with women. Of course, one night stands are all I take with them, since it's only good for a bit of pleasure."

I didn't doubt that he could have gotten even a model in bed with him, but hearing him saying that he had one night stands all the time somehow surprised me. Was it because he was a Traveler? _Don't get attached to anyone,_ he had said.

Well, that was already too late.

"That's disgusting, Lavi." I muttered, scrunching up my face to cover up the blush I could feel, and the slight disappointment. Lavi laughed, closing the distance between us.

He was only a couple inches away from me when he stopped, but I didn't feel awkward. He was nearly touching me, but it was a cold night anyways, so having him closer helped to keep me warm. At least, that would be my excuse, if he asked me…

"I was joking." He whispered, leaning closer to me, his mouth next to my ear. His breath was warm, and it tickled as it brushed against my neck and my ear and my hair… "I'm not interested in women."

My stomach squirmed, and my eyes widened.

"Well, you want some takeout or something?" He asked, suddenly leaning back. I wanted to pull him close again.

"Takeout?" I asked.

"What, you've never heard of takeout?" Lavi gave me an absurd look, and I blushed.

"Of course I have, I just wondered why you wanted takeout." I muttered.

"Well, takeout's always good for a first date." He winked, and I blushed further.

"It's not a date." I muttered.

"Well, what else would you call it? You desperately told me to wait and come meet you, I'm standing out here in the freezing cold with you late at night, and it's not exactly like we can call each other a couple since we barely even know each other, so it's a date. A first one." He grinned, as if proud of himself for figuring this out, and I wondered how he could be so open about this.

"But I'm not…" I began, but he didn't let me continue, taking my hand. I stuttered, attempting to say something, but I knew that if I let my mouth do the talking I'd most likely say something I didn't actually want to happen.

After all, his hand was unbelievably warm.

He dragged me off, heading down a random street as if he knew where he was going. I didn't bother questioning him, letting him lead me wherever he wanted to go. I trusted him. I trusted him more than I trusted the people I had known for years, and I had only ever met him twice before this.

Life really was pathetic, playing with me like this.

_He's going to leave…_

He was a Traveler. After doing my research, and after paying close attention to the things he had said, then that meant he wouldn't be coming back here, and he would be leaving alone. Travelers never traveled together. They were always _alone_.

Just like I would soon be, if I chose to take the same road as Lavi.

But in the end, wasn't that my best chance of seeing him again when he did leave? If I traveled like him, wouldn't we eventually bump into each other again in some random town?

Couldn't I convince him to be different with me?

"I'm leaving tomorrow. First thing in the morning."

I jumped, looking up at Lavi, squeezing his hand harder to make sure he really was still there.

"I thought you said you were staying for a week." I muttered.

"Yeah…well…you complicate things."

I felt like someone had twisted a knife into my back.

"Why me?" I asked.

"Because, I can't get emotionally attached. If I want to do this with you, then I have to leave right away." He whispered.

"Is that why you leave everywhere?" I asked, barely above a whisper. "Run away after getting intimate with someone?"

"We haven't even kissed yet and you're saying we're intimate?" he joked, but when I didn't smile, he sighed. "It's not like that. Before, I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't connect to anyone. I only know people here because those two used to be Travelers like me, too. We all stopped at the same place. We were going to just live together here, after spending so much time together, but I…didn't want to. Anita and Mahoja are a couple. I'd be intruding."

"Mahoja's a…girl, right?" I asked.

"Yeah." Lavi replied easily. "Probably why we get along so well, the three of us. We all have a thing for the same sex."

I winced, wondering if he was just fooling around with me by saying that. Was he really gay? Was he just humoring me, knowing he'd never see me again anyways?

"To be honest, I've never openly liked a guy before. I've never told anyone I'm gay except for you and those two." Lavi continued, and I looked at him in surprise. "You know, you don't have to know a person to understand that you love them. Sometimes, if you find _that_ person, you just know. One look and you know. I guess that's where 'love at first sight' comes from, but it's not quite like that…

"It's more like, at first, when you see them, you suddenly feel the need to talk to them, like something's pulling you towards them. Then you feel the need to comfort them and make them happy. You don't realize it's love until…

"Well, I didn't realize it until you said wait." Lavi glanced at me, completely unashamed of what he was saying. My heart leapt. He was saying he loved me. Why? "Well, I guess I can't really call it love, but one thing's for sure. I sure as hell like you. You're fucking gorgeous for a guy, you know."

I blushed, looking away from him again. "It makes it sound like you're only here for my body." I muttered.

Lavi laughed, squeezing my hand. "Well, it wont be like that after we get to know each other, will it?" he asked, suddenly coming to a stop. "Even though I pretty much know everything about you, after your little life story. Anyways, we're here."

I looked up, finding a shabby looking Chinese food restaurant. I laughed a little, looking at Lavi.

"Really?" I asked. "Chinese food? Yeah, that's real romantic."

"Isn't it?"

"Idiot rabbit."

"Rabbit?"

"I have no idea. The nickname just suddenly came."

"Huh…good nickname. Bean sprout."

"Shut up!"

"Well…it works…I mean, rabbits love bean sprouts, don't they?"

* * *

"So, you're going to go to _Tyler_, and he's going to get you a job. Remember, tell him two months, and that Lavi sent you. If he doesn't remember me, he'll remember Mahoja and Anita. Here's their address. They'll let you stay with them." Lavi handed me a piece of paper, standing next to the bus that would bring his roaming soul wherever he sought.

Suddenly, a traveling bus meant a whole lot more to me. Somehow, I appreciated it more.

"So you're just going to leave?" I asked. "You're not even going to say goodbye to them?"

"What do you think I was doing when I was talking to Anita in the car?" Lavi asked, giving me a 'you-should-know-this' look.

"Why do you have to leave three days after I met you?" I asked, pouting for what seemed like the twentieth time that morning. Lavi just smiled, leaning towards me.

"Because, bean sprout, you complicate things. A rabbit shouldn't like sprouts more than carrots, and the world is my carrot." He said.

"Enough with the stupid nicknames." I snapped, agitated. Lavi sighed.

"Well, it was worth a try." He shrugged.

"Can't you just stay for another day?" I asked.

"I'm afraid that if I stay for another minute I might just change my mind. I _can't_ change my mind, Allen." he said, suddenly serious. It was like a shadow had suddenly crossed his face, hiding it from my vision so that he was no longer in my sight, in my reach.

But I understood. I understood now, Lavi's reason for always disappearing from a place as soon as his name was known by one person.

Which was why I would watch him go. And one day soon, I would follow after him.

He leaned closer, and his lips pressed gently to mine, tenderly. It was brief, as if any longer, any deeper would cause him to grow weak, and when he pulled away he looked like he was ready to die. I could feel a thrill running through me as I watched him suddenly turn and disappear into the bus.

I didn't cry. I just stood there, watching the bus, never looking at the windows. He wouldn't be on the side I was on, anyways. He would have purposefully gone to the other side.

I watched the bus driver get in, I watched as the bus grumbled to life, and I watched as it drove away, but I didn't cry.

After all, Lavi was just living his life like he always had. Just like I would soon be doing, too. Each day a new day, each day its own story that would bring me somewhere else, never connecting but always knowing, knowing everything and everyone, as an observer and as a party member.

Life was not something that followed the same boring schedule every day, like I used to think it was. It was something that had something new in it every day.

It was something I could only learn from Lavi.

**Three Years Later**

The bus was quiet, filled with whispers of people who were about to see family or go on vacation. The terminal was getting closer and closer, a terminal I hadn't seen in three years.

A Traveler didn't go back to the same place twice. Yet, when I had found myself at the bus station in my last town, when I had seen the schedule for Vancouver, I couldn't help it.

It was like something had been pulling me towards it.

The bus came to a stop, and people stood up, all getting out and going into the world beyond. I followed after slowly, used to the crowds, no longer affected by them. I gave the bus driver a nod and he returned it, getting off after me, as I was the last to get off.

I dragged my feet into the bus terminal, going to the counter, pulling out the amount of money I already knew I needed, and put it on the counter, in exact change. I uttered the name of the town I wished to go to.

Fifteen minutes until departure.

I wonder, was this coincidence?

I got on the bus early, sitting somewhere near the middle, and placed my bag next to me. It was the same one I had been carrying around with me since I had first left home. It was full now, with everything necessary for living. I wasn't quite good enough to just travel with pockets alone.

I opened the bag and dug deep inside, my fingers searching for the feeling of paper. When I found what I was searching for, I pulled it out of the depths, careful not to disturb anything else. I stared at the book before me, smiling a little.

The page I had been reading that day was still marked. I hadn't opened it since then. The book was a little ratty now, covered with stains from various things. I opened the book, reading from the last paragraph I had read back then. Would I still be able to understand the plotline like this?

As I looked down at the black, ink letters, I couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

Everything today was reminding me of that day that I hadn't thought of for almost three years now, a day I had decided to store in my memory forever but never think of it, because if I did then my will would be shaken. I would find myself weak, wishing for the one thing that I knew was missing from this day.

Something that I knew would most likely never happen.

I sighed, smiling softly to myself. I had long accepted it, though. Now, I was a Traveler too. I knew what it was like now. I could understand fully now.

Yet, wishful thinking was still there. Of course it was. It always was. It was there every day, every time I sat on a bus or roamed around a town or city.

I sighed to myself, ignoring my thoughts, something I had long learned to do, and instead paid attention to the book. Just like before. Just concentrate completely on the book.

I wondered, would anyone recognize me? It was doubtful. I had bleached my hair white, just for a bit of change, and had gotten a tattoo over my left eye. It had been an identity change, since the police had started getting suspicious of me whenever they saw me. I had found it was necessary.

Did they even remember me? Did they ever care that I had disappeared?

My palms were starting to get sweaty. I suppose I could still get nervous when traveling.

I laughed to myself, starting to really notice just how similar this day was…

Except…

"Fancy meeting you here, sprout."

The book fell to the floor as my hands grew numb, and I looked up, meeting two emerald green orbs.

"I see you really did get stressed out enough to get white hair."

_New Day: Fin_

Day two of Laven Week! Let me know what you think. I don't really have anything I want to say about this one…oh, except that I might use this idea for a multi-chapter fic, since the idea intrigues me. Same pairing, same basic idea, just a longer, more detailed story into the relationship, and how Allen runs away, and Allen's past…and basically, it'll just fill in all of the little holes I left out here, and have a completely different ending most likely.


	3. Ocean

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Rating: T

**Warning**: contains Yullen.

Summary: Change comes in the oddest of places, in the oddest of ways, and the oddest of times. No matter what, though, this change was something I was able to live with forever.

Day Three: Ocean

_Ocean_

* * *

Life is like an ocean. Constantly changing, shifting, moving, _breathing_. It washes up odd things that can either cause conflict or be beneficial to the area they wash up in. Just like us.

We _were_ seventy percent of the stuff. Our bodies were over half water, just like the world. In a way, we sort of _are_ like our own little mini worlds.

The ocean was so much more solid than space, so much more in our reach, yet for some reason we know more about off of our earth than we do about on it. Why must humans be fascinated by something we cannot reach, something that we cannot touch? Why must everything be so far away in order to please the human heart?

Why not something so much closer?

("…")

"Allen, sire, breakfast will be ready in an hour." The man who was trailing after me said, keeping his head down. I sighed.

"I know, Suman. I am not blind to the time." I said gently, glancing at the man. He pursed his lips, his brown eyes glaring down at the white, soft sand. A single strand of brown hair stuck out from the rest, but no matter how often I told him or eyed it, he never tucked it back.

"I am sorry, sire," he whispered, and said nothing more. I shook my head gently, returning my gaze to the ocean. I didn't come here to see people I saw every day. I came to see the beautiful scenery I only ever got to see every so often.

The sound of my footsteps as I treaded over the sand was barely hearable over the gentle sound of the waves rolling up the sand, and crashing in the distance. The ocean wasn't calm today, but rather, unsettled. As if something bad had happened, or very soon would.

Something on the shore caught my eye, something red. I couldn't see if there was anything else with it, just a small blob of red, but as soon as I saw it something in my chest clenched.

"I have a bad feeling…" I whispered. "Suman, fetch Timothy and Daisya. Be swift."

"Yes, sire." Suman whispered, and turned. He began running, and even though he was slowed down by the sand he still ran as fast as the wind. Suman was reliable for many things when the time came.

I paid him no heed, however, and instead ran as fast as I could to get to the red blob. I wasn't necessarily as skillful as Suman, and very nearly fell a great deal of times. I _did_ fall twice. When I finally reached the red blob, I was covered in more sand than necessary.

However, this was the last thing on my mind when I saw what was there.

A man lay there, red hair tangled and sprawled all around him. One of his eyes was covered by a black eye patch, and no clothes were on his pale body, which was almost the same color as the sand. I frowned, leaning down next to the man, placing two fingers at the base of his neck, feeling for his pulse.

When I found it, barely there, I sighed in relief and instead opened his mouth, checking his airwaves. Shallow breathing came from him, though his chest was barely moving. I checked his body for wounds, but the only ones I found were on the head; one large gouge on his forehead and a small cut along his neck, as if he had barely escaped from getting a fight.

Was he from a shipwreck? If so, was he a pirate?

I could feel my heart beating in my chest wildly, and I stroked the man's cheek, wondering what kind of story he held.

Surely it was so much better than my own?

"Sire!" I snapped my hand back, standing up suddenly, and very nearly fell back down. I would have, had Suman not caught me. A few feet behind him, Timothy and Daisya were running, though both looked a little agitated.

"Why the hell did you call us out here, Allen?" Daisya snapped as soon as he reached us, and I smiled gently.

"Not for no reason, Daisya." I whispered gently. I stepped to the side, and all three sets of eyes strayed down to the naked body.

Immediately, they went into action. The young Timothy watched as Suman and Daisya lifted the man, and stood near the middle of his body, on watch in case something happened. I walked behind them as they took the man, heading back towards the castle.

This was the first time in many, many years that I returned to the castle willingly and excited.

* * *

The room was silent, not a single sound from the outside reaching in it. Though there was a window, it was currently closed, mostly to keep the wind out from disturbing our guest.

I sat next to him, staring down at his face, frowning in wonder. My hand was placed gently on his cheek, where it would always be when no one else was in the room. Whenever I saw that face, I had the need to touch it.

The man's dark red hair was shorter, a necessity in order to tame it and get the tangles out of it. His injuries were bandaged, and he now had a new eye patch.

Thinking of his eye patch very nearly made me shudder. When our nurse had taken it off, I had been a little shocked to find that the eye had no eyelid, the eye beyond a pure white, no pupil in sight. Even after three days of the man being in his coma, it still scared me. we kept an eye patch on his eye mostly out of respect, and also because it would help if the women who tended to him didn't have to see that.

We had given him a new set of clothing, black linen and cotton, a long sleeved shirt and a pair of loose pants. Even without him being awake, he looked good in the clothes.

I had never found myself so intrigued by someone or something before. Every day I would sit next to his bed, whenever I possibly could, and I would sit and stare at his face, going through so many different stories in my head. Just what had this man gone through? Was he a pirate or a sailor, or had he just been traveling on a boat in order to get to another island or another part of the mainland? Did he come from here or was he from a different country? Did he have a family? How old was he?

There were so many questions, so many things I wanted to ask him, yet that eye remained shut, day after day, and he never moved a muscle.

A small knock on the door caused me to retract my hand, and the door opened. "Allen, there you are. I knew I'd find you in here."

The female voice relieved me, and I smiled, looking back. Lenalee stood in the doorway, her usual soft expression on her kind features. Her long black hair was tied into a bun, though often she would simply let it loose.

"Lenalee." I acknowledged, nodding before turning back to the man. I placed my hand back on his cheek, my thumb stroking the cheekbone under the eye patch.

"Kanda's been looking for you." Lenalee said gently, stepping into the room. She stood next to me, her hands folded neatly, and she examined the man. "He still hasn't shown any sign of waking up?"

"Nothing." I whispered, leaning close to the man's face. "I want to know his name so badly."

"Everyone's curious about him. Timothy and Daisya are starting to get a little crazy with the story about how they carried him back. They're starting to say they saw a pirate ship, and that the man had flailed in protest before suddenly become unconscious. They say they just barely saved you from getting attacked by him, too. Do you want me to talk to them?"

I chuckled, my thumb stopping. "Yes, please." I whispered. "We can't have the town thinking that pirates are going to attack any day for a stray from a shipwreck. It could cause them to do violent things to this man."

"I'll do what I can. If I cannot, then I will get Kanda to deal with it." Lenalee said gently, and then placed a hand on my shoulder. "I suggest you go find Kanda before he finds you. I don't think he'll take it so calmly if he sees you here, touching a man you don't know as if he's your lover. He's not like me."

"I'll take your word for that," I sighed, thinking about the Japanese man who had been forced to stay in the castle since we were children. His parents had sent him here long ago, when it was too dangerous for him to stay in Japan any more, and when we had never heard back from them we assumed they died. Two years ago, we had gotten word that they had indeed died, and it would be too dangerous for Kanda to go back to his home country.

Therefore, I was the one who had to deal with him. He was two years older than me, but since I was the rightful owner of this place I ended up having to act like his elder or something, which only resulted in him hating me more than he already did. Kanda was definitely not one to show respect to others.

A warm, almost clammy hand suddenly clasped itself over mine, and I very nearly cried out in surprise. Luckily, I caught myself, covering my mouth with my free hand, and stared down at the redheaded man.

His eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes scrunched, an agonized grimace on his face. His breathing suddenly became heavy, and his hand clutched mine so tightly I wondered if the blood was still circulating. However, I didn't cry out in pain, enduring it, too intrigued by the man to care.

I leaned closer to him, until my face was only inches away from his, trying to catch any sign of his eyes opening. "Sir, are you awake?" I whispered gently, using my other hand to grab onto his shoulder. "Sir?"

Suddenly, his eye opened, revealing a single emerald green orb, the pupil dilating as it met the light for the first time in who knew how long. I didn't have time to ask if he was okay, because when his eye met mine, he suddenly burst forward, his lips connecting with mine.

At first, I tried to push him away, so surprised that I didn't even realize his hand still clutched mine to his face, using my other hand to push at his shoulder.

But it felt _good_. His lips were warm, soft, gentle. They weren't forceful or rough. Though it would have seemed like it, after he had burst forward like that.

He pushed me back up into a sitting position, so that he, too, was sitting. His free hand went to my neck, then down to my collar bone, then down my chest and to my waist, where he pulled me closer.

He was strong, pulling me completely onto the bed. My whole body was weak as I leaned into the kiss, and when his tongue lightly darted out, I gasped, allowing him access.

Suddenly, I found my strength again, but I did not pull away. I instead went on my knees, throwing one leg over his legs, straddling him. Now, I was the dominant one, our tongues lightly playing, both of us breathing heavily from our noses.

His hand released mine, instead going to my chest, dragging down it, causing a shiver to run down my spine. He found the bottom of my shirt and wasted no time in reaching under it, skin touching skin.

I'm not sure how far it would have gotten if the door hadn't of burst open loudly.

"What the _fuck_, you fucking bean sprout?!"

I jumped away so fast that I fell off the bed. My back connected with the floor with a thud. Suddenly winded, I gasped for breath, sitting up and looking at the door. Kanda stood there, staring at me in pure disgust, and I felt my cheeks flush red.

"K-Kanda…" I whispered.

Something flashed in his eyes before he looked at the man who was sitting on the bed. Suddenly realizing exactly what had just happened, my head snapped towards the bed, and I looked up at the now awake redhead, his emerald green eye staring at Kanda in curiosity.

"Who are you?" he asked. His voice was pleasant, boyish.

"Tch. I should be asking you that, fucking freak." Kanda snapped, his fists clenched. I winced.

"Me…?" the redhead frowned, looking down at me. "I think…my name is Lavi."

"You think?" I asked, ignoring Kanda as I stood up, brushing myself off, my cheeks still flushed. However, I wasn't really embarrassed when I looked into the man's eye. I think it was because he himself wasn't acting embarrassed. It gave me confidence. Besides…it wasn't exactly like that was the first time I had done that…

"I don't…know. That's the name that comes to me when I try to think of it, but I'm really not sure." He whispered. "I'm not…sure who I am."

"You lost…your memory?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Yes…" the man, Lavi whispered. "I don't remember anything…but…I remember you."

"Me?" I asked, confused. "You've only known me for about five minutes, and the first thing you did was kiss me, so I guess, yeah, you would kind of have to remember that…but…"

"No, I mean before just now. The _reason_ I kissed you is because I know you. I know you, and when I think of you, something odd fills me. When I saw you, it was that feeling that I let out." Lavi explained, starting to look a little confused. "I don't know where or why, but I have a feeling…that I know you a lot better than just friends."

I blushed, looking away. "I think I'd remember that, thanks." I whispered. "I haven't lost any memories, and I've never seen you before three days ago when you washed up on shore. You might have been in a shipwreck, and your injuries suggest that you barely escaped a fight. We took you back here, and you've been unconscious ever since. You've never seen me before you opened your eyes."

Lavi frowned, looking as if he wanted to disagree, but seemed to think better of it. "Okay…so you don't know where I come from?" he asked.

"I imagine somewhere that speaks English." I replied, smiling lightly. Suddenly, a loud growl was heard. Lavi's cheeks flushed. "Lunch should be ready soon." I whispered. "I'll leave you alone to think. I think…my presence might be a little distracting." I blushed a little, bowing and turning to leave. I was met face to face with Kanda, his mouth set in a scowl as he looked at me.

"I have some business with you." He snapped. My eyes shifted to the side, wondering what the redhead was currently thinking, and I let out a soft sigh.

"Alright," I whispered. I walked past Kanda, closing my eyes as I did so, as if showing him that I accepted his judgment, and stepped out into the hall way. The door closed when I had gone a few steps, and Kanda's faster strides caught up to me in seconds.

He grabbed my wrist, pulling me to a stop, and pushed me against the wall. Before I could protest, his lips crashed into mine, demanding and dominant.

He was the complete opposite of Lavi.

His erection pressed into my hip as he pressed into me, his lips leaving mine to trail along my neck, his tongue flickering out every now and then.

My hands placed themselves on his shoulders, but I did not join him in his pleasure. Instead, I let him do what he wanted. I knew he would go for a while, since he was angry. His way of letting out his aggression these days was by letting it out on me in different ways.

I hadn't really noticed when it had started, Kanda doing this to me. It was at some point shortly after his parents died, the first time he had pinned me to a wall and kissed me. From there, it had escalated. Yet, even though he did this, he never said he loved me, never said he liked me, never talked to me, and when he did talk to me he acted like I was a piece of dirt.

I didn't really harbor any feelings for Kanda except for sympathy. I put up with this so that he could have a release, so that he could let go of his pressure. I wasn't sure why he didn't just choose maids, why it had to be me, and why it had to be a guy, but I didn't ask him. I just let him do what he wanted.

His hands reached under my shirt, so much colder than the one that had previously done so. Instead of running up and down my chest, he untied my pants.

I shivered as his teeth suddenly connected with my neck, biting much harder than was necessary.

Whether I liked him or not, sexual acts still made me aroused.

"Kanda…room…" I gasped, my nails digging into his shoulders as I pressed against the wall, trying to reign in the pleasure I was feeling.

Kanda hardly acknowledged me, pulling his hand out of my pants so that he could reach behind my legs, lifting me up so that I could wrap my legs around him. He stumbled into the nearest room that was not Lavi's, throwing me on the bed one too lightly after shutting the door with his foot.

I hardly even paid any attention to what he did, what he said, what he touched or breathed…

And then, just like that, it was over.

Kanda didn't like going any further than that. Once he was satisfied, I didn't matter anymore.

I was beginning to wonder what exactly went on inside his head when he was doing these things to me. He didn't say anything as he got up, as he put on his clothes, as he left me alone in the room and shut the door behind him. I just laid there, waiting. I wasn't sure what for, but one thing was for sure: Kanda had been so much rougher than usual that I probably wouldn't be able to sit properly for a little while.

I wanted this to end. I didn't want to be Kanda's puppet anymore, especially since I was the one who was technically supposed to be in command of him. I shouldn't be sympathetic towards him when he was the one who caused all of his problems for himself. The only thing he had ever been through that wasn't his fault was leaving his country.

When my breathing was completely even and the erection had gone down, I sat up, looking down at our mess. Hopefully, whoever slept here wouldn't get too angry. I pulled on my clothes slowly, not really paying attention, and stood up, leaving the door open when I left.

Was that all Kanda had wanted? Was that why he had told Lenalee he was looking for me? In the end, our 'discussion' didn't even have a single word besides 'Kanda, room'.

I paused when I was outside of Lavi's room. Had he heard? Was he already in the dining hall? Was he sleeping?

My hand reached for the doorknob, and I hovered over it for a moment, trying to make a decision. Finally, my hand clutched the knob and turned.

The door opened, and when I looked inside Lavi was sitting on his bed, staring out his window, a blank look on his face.

When I came in, he looked up, and his face suddenly turned bright, right into a smile.

"Allen." he breathed.

"How do you know my name?" I asked, frowning.

"I told you I knew you." He muttered, and stood. "I started remembering little flashes…and then more…until I finally had everything."

"So…you know who you are?" I asked, a little surprised. I had thought that someone who lost their memories would take a little longer to remember everything. Usually it would at least take a few weeks.

"Yes." He said, smiling. "My name's Lavi, I'm from the Bookman tribe. Even though you didn't know it, I've been following you. That's what I meant when I said I knew I know you from somewhere. As a Bookman, it is my job to record details, any details, and remember all of them. We are the hidden history, we are how history is recorded.

"My job was to watch you. You, who is the future to this country, according to a prophecy. Since there are still so many Bookmen out there, it was no hassle letting me simply follow you. I've been watching you for about a year now. However, I still can't remember what happened to me. I can only remember that much…everything that involves you…"

I stared at Lavi for a long moment, frowning. "You've been stalking me?" I asked bluntly.

His cheeks flushed, and he looked away from me. "If you want to put it that way, sure."

"The Bookman tribe is following me?" I asked, suddenly worried.

I knew about the Bookman tribe. They were highly honored, not only for their deeds but because of their threat. They were trained, they could be mercenaries if they so wished, and they held every dark secret that the higher ups never wanted the public to know. Therefore, Bookmen were to be on the highest of honors.

People were always so selfish.

"It's only a prophecy. You never know, it could end up not coming true." Lavi tried to reassure, but I stared at him blankly.

"That doesn't explain why they have someone tailing me." I replied.

"In case something happens. Our job is to record _all_ of history. If something were to happen because of you and we weren't there to see it, then we would be left with a hole in our history." Lavi explained, standing up. "Therefore, I have been assigned to you…indefinitely."

Here, his cheeks turned red again, and he stepped towards me. For some reason he seemed to be nervous, scratching the back of his head with an unsure smile on his face.

"See, at first I kind of thought that would suck majorly, but after a while…well, I started to watch _you_. Even though you don't know me, I feel like I know you." He closed the distance between us and stuck out a hand. "I want to be your friend, Allen Walker, Pride of England."

"Friend?" I asked, frowning, recalling his reaction to seeing me earlier. In all honesty, I wanted to feel it again.

"You don't want to be?" he asked, closing his open hand and swinging it backward and forward, as if unsure of what to do. He didn't seem to fit the role of Bookman very well, what with the way he was acting. Bookmen were supposed to be emotionless people who never attached themselves to anything, only their work.

"I never said that." I said calmly, frowning gently. "I'm just not so sure that's what you mean."

"Of course that's what I mean." Lavi frowned, confused.

"I think you mean more." I replied loftily, smirking. "You're attracted to me."

His face suddenly turned red, and he looked away. The smug smirk went away, replaced by a gentle smile, and I took his hand, which was still swinging. Lavi looked at me in surprise, but I didn't give him time to say anything, leaning forward and capturing his lips in my own.

"We can take getting to know each other slowly enough, but in other ways…" I whispered after pulling away. "Well, let's just say I'm more than eager enough to oblige."

"Allen Walker, you are one horny bastard." Lavi whispered, smiling.

I just returned the smile, kissing him again.

"What about Kanda?" Lavi asked, pulling away this time. I frowned.

"I was only his toy. He should survive." I whispered, pulling him closer to me so that we were maybe a centimeter apart. "Shut up about the details, shut up about you, shut up about me, and just kiss me."

"Yessir."

* * *

Life is like an ocean. Constantly changing, shifting, moving, _breathing_. It washes up odd things that can either cause conflict or be beneficial to the area they wash up in. Just like us.

Just like Lavi washed up for me.

Humans are attracted to things that are out of their reach, things they cannot touch. When they see the beautiful scenery, they are attracted to it because they cannot reach it, cannot be a part of it, and they so desperately want to. That is true human nature; the want of things that cannot be had.

But when we have what we want, do we really know how to appreciate it?

I knew, I would always be able to appreciate the blessing life had given me.

_Ocean: Fin_

_

* * *

_

A/N:Okay, I took out the horrible part of this story that made me feel like I was completely going against the purpose of _Laven_ week. But I'm still sketchy about having this as T rated. Anyways, was it just me or was Allen _vain_ here? I guess our little angel can be vain and uncaring sometimes…but I still kind of scare myself when I read through this…Anyways, let me know what you think…hehe…"^^


	4. Just One Question

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Rating: K

Summary: A relationship between two people can cause questions in others. It can cause doubts and defensiveness and jealousy and respect and happiness. However, who feels what?

Day Four: Connection

_Just One Question_

**

* * *

**

**Yuu Kanda**

Things like this aren't supposed to happen. That much was clear, at least.

Yet somehow those two _made_ it happen. They ignored everything, put it all aside, and found themselves perfectly fine. I couldn't understand how they did it. How they were so easily able to just discard everything, simply for each other. They made it seem so _easy_.

Although they attempted to be discreet about it, it didn't really work. However, they weren't exactly 'couple-y', either. It was…natural. Them being together. They acted so natural, and it _seemed_ natural. I didn't feel disgusted or like I wanted to hurt them or question their logic…

Only one question ever came to mind.

What did it feel like to love and be loved so deeply?

**Lenalee Lee**

Maybe…I was a little jealous. I wasn't sure who exactly to be jealous towards, though. Maybe both of them, for leaving me alone as they lived in their own world, leaving me behind, leaving everyone behind.

I wasn't sure they realized the pain they made everyone experience by being together. The people who were hurt, the people who disagree with such a relationship, the people who felt betrayed…

But still beyond that, I was…happy for them. they were perfect for each other. I think everyone thought that.

Only one questions echoed in my mind.

What about us?

**Komui Lee**

Keeping a secret like this hidden isn't exactly easy. However, it's almost…worth it. Maybe I tell myself this because they'll never go for Lenalee, but if I were being honest with myself, I had silently been cheering them on ever since I saw their connection. I think everyone did, even Kanda.

Although supporting them may not have been the best idea.

Trouble often came with support, especially with something like this. However, I was glad everyone else seemed to be at least relatively supportive of them. At least, there had been no conflicts yet. When that time came, which it eventually would, they would have to be prepared…for anything.

Only one question rang clear in my mind.

Would they be prepared to _lose_ each other?

**Arystar Krory**

My connection with these two was something beyond just acquaintances. I believed them as two of my closest friends, for so many reasons. I had never really expected them to be like this, though.

I wasn't against it by any means, I was a person who knew what love felt like, I could understand the need to discard everything for that one person. I could understand their need for each other. No matter how close they were in that matter, they would always be my friends.

I would always hold the highest respect possible for those two.

Only one question bothered my mind.

If one died, would the other follow after or continue to live?

**Miranda Lotto**

I wasn't sure what to think of those two. I had grown up believing that a relationship like that was wrong. I had lived thinking that people like that were people against god. Yet I loved those two dearly, they were my friends, my comrades. They had saved me when I needed to be saved.

Even though I knew this, and even though seeing them together caused an unexpected happiness in my breast, I couldn't help but think that it was wrong. My feelings were contradicting each other, and I had no idea what to do about them.

I was conflicted about two people who deserved to be happy.

Only one question dominated the rest.

How long would they be able to go on like this before someone like me ruined it for them?

**Marian Cross**

I was happy for the brat, even though it was disgusting. He was happier, he stopped thinking about all of the problems that were always looming there, inside of a temporary happiness that he was able to enjoy.

We both knew that this wouldn't last forever, though.

The other one was able to keep him happy. He would be able to protect the idiot sufficiently enough until the time came when he wouldn't be able to. If he _was_ able to, then the kid was stronger than I thought.

Only one question made me laugh at night.

When the hell did they have sex?

**Bookman**

I was against it. He knew it, but he still went against me. He stayed with the child, he continued to love him when he shouldn't, when he should distance himself even further for the mere fact of his past.

No matter how much I lectured him or talked to him or reasoned with him, he did not change his mind. His mind was clouded with the boy, and I knew there was nothing I would be able to do except for wait patiently for them to ruin themselves.

After all, he would have to realize who he was soon enough.

Only one question worried me.

_Would_ he remember who he was, or would he really discard his title for the boy?

**Hevlaska**

It was an interesting thing to see, the two together. I didn't know them as well as others, I didn't see them apart from when was necessary, and therefore my judgment towards their relationship wasn't quite something to stand by.

However, I believed they would stand by my opinion anyways, because I believed that together their hearts were stronger. I have seen the looks on their faces, the way they could both be so determined, and I believed that together they would be able to overcome any obstacle.

They were two people who could be together without a care in the world.

Only one question struck my curiosity.

If they were on the opposite side, would we be facing an end to our world?

**Howard Link**

They were happy.

I guess in a way my job was to make sure he _wasn't_ happy, but it was simple enough for me to report in and say nothing was happening. It was simple enough to pretend that I didn't notice them.

Besides, the kid needed a break, and the only person who I could ever think of as a good person for that was the one he had chosen. To me, the kid wasn't a threat, he had become sort of a friend, and all I wanted was for him to be happy. Now, he was.

Only one question occurred.

Why had it taken so long for him to find happiness?

**Fou**

I was happy for the kid. Spending days and hours with him, every day, for so many weeks was probably the result of that. I knew the kid's abilities, I knew how he reacted to things, but I had no idea about the other one.

The other one I'd never even seen before. I only knew of their relationship because of the talk of the others when they passed by, and from Bak whenever he spoke to me. However, that was the extent.

At least the kid was happier, according to the others.

Just one question.

What did everyone else think?

_Lavi Bookman Jr._

Allen, Allen, Allen.

That seemed to be the only name, the one name that meant anything to me. I didn't care about anything or anyone else anymore. Everything was for the sake of Allen. Allen, who was burdened with so much all the time. Allen, who was burdened by _me_.

Yet, somehow, he still loved me back. Even though I was a burden on him, he still said he loved me, and I could tell he _meant_ it. I didn't care what the others thought, I didn't care if no one liked it, I didn't care if the world ended so long as he was still in my arms, safe.

But I did have one question for him.

_Why_ did he love me?

_Allen Walker_

Lavi. The one person who understood me. The one person who I could trust no matter what.

Lavi was the reason I existed. I would do anything for him, I would tolerate him under the worst of circumstances, I would believe him even under the hardest of circumstances, because I trusted him.

I didn't want to let him go, ever, no matter what anyone else thought or did. As long as I was with him, I was _happy_. I _loved_ him, and I wasn't ashamed of it. As long as he was happy, I could be happy too.

But there was one question.

Why did he love me back?

_Connection: Fin_

* * *

A/N: Well. I didn't quite get to finish ALL of what I wanted to do for this one, and tomorrow's segment will probably be the last one that was actually planned out, because that was all I ended up having time for. Plus, the fact that has been running a little...odd these past two days hasn't helped a bit.

Let me know what you think! Happy Laven Week!


	5. Kissing You

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Rating: T

Summary: Song-fic, to Kissing You by Des'ree. It's Lavi's birthday, but there's only one person he wants a present from.

Day 5: Happy Birthday

**Kissing You**

* * *

_Pride Can Stand A Thousand Trials_

The halls were empty. No one was in sight. Outside, the moon shone high in the sky, and still barely hearable was the loud cries of everyone as they continued to party.

The soft footsteps barely echoed throughout the halls, as a redheaded man with a single green eye, the other covered by an eye patch, roamed the halls with a soft smile on his features.

With each step, the smile faded, until it was replaced by a frown, a look of deep agony displaying itself.

Why had he left?

Because _he_ had been there? Because he didn't want to see _him_ there, smiling at him, when he knew what he really wanted? Because every time he saw that face, he was constantly in denial, trying to shove away feelings that shouldn't exist?

_The Strong Will Never Fall_

Looking at that face, it was like his whole will trembled. There was something about it that was able to take down all of his defenses, remove his desire to become a Bookman, make him wish to live a normal life, with _him_ by his side. Even just as friends, he would be satisfied.

Yet whenever he saw that face lately, it wasn't just friendship that wanted to be satisfied. His strength was crumbling each time he saw that face, and every day he felt weaker and weaker, all because of one boy.

_But Watching Stars Without You_

The footsteps stopped, and he stood in the middle of a balcony, the stars shining down on him. He looked up, his heart tearing a hole into itself, and a large lump formed in his throat.

The last time he had watched the stars, the last time he had stood on this balcony, _he_ had been by his side. That night, something had changed. A forbidden feeling had formed, but he felt like he was the only one who would ever feel it.

Life had decided to torture him, he knew. Give him something so sweet and irresistible, yet knowing that he would never be able to take it, standing alone on this night, staring up at the stars that he had watched so many nights with that boy by his side.

_My Soul Cries_

He remembered the time that he had seen the boy standing here alone, on the verge of tears, and it had been him to talk to him. It had been him to go and comfort the boy, who was so burdened by everything that he was forced to face. Now, more than anything, he wished for the exact opposite. If there was one wish he could have granted, it would be that.

He stared up at the stars, begging with all of his heart and all of his soul for a miracle to happen, even though deep down he knew he was just being foolish.

_Heaving Hearts Is Full Of Pain_

He fell forward, unable to support his own weight anymore, and caught the railing. Leaning heavily against it, he pressed his face into his arms, biting his lips to keep from crying out. Why was it so painful just to think of him? Why was it so painful to be alone under the stars, on this one day, knowing that the one thing he really wanted was the one thing he would never be able to get?

Why couldn't his wish just come true, just this once? Every day, every minute of his life, he never got what he wanted. Everything was for the title of Bookman. Nothing was for himself, nothing was for his friends, it was all for the sake of becoming a Bookman. Just this once, he wanted something to be for _him_.

At least on this one day.

_Oh, Oh, The Aching_

But he was alone. No one would come, no one would comfort him. Everything was just a farce, his life, his name, his title, who he was currently pretending to be, it was all going to disappear. As soon as Bookman gave the order, they would be gone, and he would no longer hold the name Lavi. He would no longer be the person who is carefree and happy, who loves his friends and would do anything for them.

As soon as a few words left an old man's lips, all of this would disappear.

And he would be alone. He would be alone, and he would always remember the time where he had real friends, no matter how hard he tried. He would always remember that one face over all others, the one face he would have to leave behind forever and forever be tormented by it.

'_Cause I'm Kissing You, Oh_

"Lavi?"

He jumped, standing up straight and turning abruptly, staring in surprise at the person before him.

"Allen?" he asked, unsure of the name that left his lips.

"Why are you out here?" the white haired boy asked, stepping onto the balcony. His silver eyes glowed in the moonlight, illuminating his pale face. The mark of his left eye was more visible than usual, but Lavi only thought it gave him his character, made him who he was—someone he would never want to change in his whole life, in all of eternity.

_I'm Kissing You, Oh_

"I just…wanted to get away from the party, I guess." Lavi shrugged, looking away from the boy.

"It's your party, though. It's your birthday." Allen pushed, stepping into the middle of the balcony, where Lavi had been standing moments ago.

Lavi's heart was thudding fast in his chest, more than aware of the boy only being a foot or so away, staring at him, granting a wish he had never known had been made.

_Touch Me Deep, Pure And True_

"Allen…why are you here?" He whispered.

There was a long silence, and Lavi began to wonder if maybe the boy wasn't going to answer. Curious, he looked up, and was surprised to find that the boy was staring at him, his gaze petrifying, a nervous look on his beautiful face, and a small hint of red tainting his cheeks.

"I-I just came to come and get you," he said gently. "You disappeared, and Lenalee said it would be best if I went, since we were so close…"

Here, the boy's cheeks turned even more red. Lavi frowned and stepped closer to the boy, closing over half of the distance that had been between them.

"Lavi…" Allen muttered, looking down. Lavi didn't want that. His wish had been granted, but he felt like it would have been pointless if he didn't finally let his feelings across. On this one day, wouldn't it be okay?

Even if he rejected him the next day, would Allen give him what he wanted just for his birthday? Would he amuse him just this one day?

Lavi's hand found Allen's chin, and he pulled the boy's face up gently, forcing the boy to look him in the eye.

_Gift To Me Forever_

"Allen…thank you…" he whispered. The boy's cheeks flushed fully, but an oddly determined look entered his eyes. Instead of Lavi, it was him to close the distance.

'_Cause I'm Kissing You, Oh_

His lips pressed themselves to Lavi's, gentle but demanding, and Allen placed his hands on Lavi's shoulders, pulling him closer. Lavi's hand dropped from the boy's face, too shocked to move.

_I'm Kissing You, Oh_

Allen pulled away, his eyes shining in the moonlight, and his breath came in little pants.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and let go of Lavi. He turned, and ran. Lavi stood there, staring at where the boy had just been standing, so many feelings running through him at once.

And then, a huge grin stretched over his features.

_Where Are You Now?_

Lavi ran. He didn't waste a single second after realizing that Allen had just run away, and he turned right.

Where was he? Where was the boy? Where was the entity that had stolen away everything he had worked so hard for?

The halls were unbelievably quiet, and when he passed the mess hall there were still voices crying out from it. However, he knew Allen wouldn't be in there. He knew Allen.

Or at least, he was pretty sure he did.

_Where Are You Now?_

There was only one place he could think of.

He sprinted, putting his all into it, running as fast as he possibly could. With every second that he ran, he was throwing away his title as Bookman. With every second that he ran, he was discarding everything for this boy. With every second that he ran, he was destroying the future he had worked so hard for.

But he didn't care.

He knew now, how Allen felt. If Allen didn't feel that way, he wouldn't have been the one to kiss him first.

There was no need for words now. Now, all he needed to do was find him…

"Allen!"

He had been right. The boy stopped, having still been walking towards his room, the only place that he _could_ go without being disturbed.

Lavi had only just made it in time. However, he didn't stop, still running at full speed. Allen suddenly looked a little worried, a little scared. Lavi laughed, and tackled the boy down to the floor, which was exactly why he had been scared.

Their bodies thudded to the floor harshly, and both of them groaned out in pain when they had finally stopped sliding across the floor.

"That…wasn't exactly how I had planned it…" Lavi coughed out, sitting up. Allen was underneath him, and now that Lavi had a full view of their situation, he realized that he was currently straddling the innocent, unsuspecting boy.

"Lavi, you're insane, you know that?" Allen coughed, about to try and sit up, but Lavi leaned down, putting a hand on either side of the boy's face, and didn't let him speak again.

'_Cause I'm Kissing You_

Their lips connected gently at first, a light kiss, a test. When Allen had finally registered in his mind what was happening, he wasted no time in letting Lavi know his answer.

Allen's arms snaked around Lavi's neck, and he deepened the kiss, pulling the redhead closer.

Lavi laughed against the boy's lips, unable to hold back from smiling.

There was nothing more he could possibly wish for on this night.

This one night would be stored forever in his memory, not because his job was to record absolutely everything but because this night would always be the night that he was happiest.

"Happy birthday, Lavi." Allen whispered.

_I'm Kissing You, Oh_

_Happy Birthday: Fin_

* * *

A/N: I dunno, I think if I had of gone into first person I could have made that a lot better…but so far the only thing not first person is Culture, so I decided I may as well switch it up a little.

In case you didn't know, that song is from Romeo and Juliet. Y'know, the one that has Leonardo DeCaprio in it…yeah…anyways, it's a beautiful song (in my opinion, anyways), and I was listening to it and I thought 'I would _love_ to do a theme to this song!', and since I wasn't really sure what to do with Happy Birthday anyways, I decided I'd use it. Anyways, let me know what you think, and happy fifth Laven day. Ni!


	6. My Ray Of Light

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Rating: K+

Summary: Only a single ray of light was able to help him.

Day 6: Caged

_**My Ray Of Light**_

I was conflicted.

It wasn't the normal confliction that you found inside of a person, the kind where you wondered who you really were, what you would really do.

The kind of confliction I was experiencing was much, much worse.

It was Lavi, or Bookman.

The choice was steadily becoming more and more difficult. Every day, the Bookman inside of me grew stronger and stronger, clouding my visions of my friends, shoving them aside, taking over me.

The person named Lavi was steadily beginning to disappear. I could tell the old man was happy with this, I could tell he had been wanting this for a long, long time, but I had a reason I didn't want to be completely erased.

Because I _was_ Lavi. No matter what anyone said anymore. I may have been training to become Bookman, but this one person, this one entity called Lavi, was someone else entirely. He was not a Bookman, he was not emotionless or detached, he was _alive_. Lavi was different. _I_ was different.

And slowly, the other me, the one who should have always possessed this body, was beginning to take control again.

I was steadily losing the will to fight him off, beginning to just let him take over. Why not, after all? It wasn't like I was the real host of this body. I was just a creation, just another name for another alias, for another fake life. I didn't really exist.

But to one person, I did.

Even when everyone had turned their backs on me, even when I had almost tried to kill him, even when I had made it clear to him that _I. Was. Bookman._ he still believed in me. he still believed in _Lavi._ He didn't care about the person who was trying to take over his body again. He cared about _Lavi_.

As I was steadily being shoved into a cage, a tiny little area with the rest of the people who had been shoved away as one of the forty-nine aliases, a single ray of light poured down over me, unlike the others.

And this ray of light wouldn't leave.

_Allen. Walker._

Caged: Fin

A/N: So yeah. It's super short, but this is all I had time to write. I haven't watched anime in over a week and I'm starting to get really twitchy, so I kind of just want to get this out and done with. I mean, I guess I should explain what happens after this little musing of Lavi's (which is all this is. He's sitting in the library staring down at a book thinking, just so you know).

Kay, so, Allen comes in, and they kiss, and Lavi decides he'll keep on fighting the Bookman inside of him. Oh, and the Bookman doesn't win. Lavi decides to stay as an Exorcist and dies and old man with Allen after they successfully defeat the Earl. The end.

Poor Bookman, having to find another successor when he's already so old…I feel for him…


End file.
